Maybe I'm a bit strange in my ideas, but somewhere along the way of life I started believing that real "class" is integrally connected to things like kindness and caring and good intuition about people's needs.....
Knowing when not to wear patent leather, and what 'winter white' is, or how to arrange flowers may be telltale signs of a somewhat dated social status, and I suppose, to some degree the kinds of 'people skills' I think of as 'classy' came hand in hand with those old money mores, but their transference to the newer generations have gotten lost in the mix.....
Enough new money to allow fringe mixing with old money will buy you access to mannerisms and rules of etiquette....but it won't buy you those deeply embedded social skills about how to treat others....new money breeds such an insidious, deep level of elitism that there is no room left for a fundamental understanding of social obligation and true gentile behavior.
On the other hand, there are folks out there with a seeming innate understanding of the subtleties of the human dynamic that don't have a pot to piss in.....
We've all met these folks. They're the ones who quietly lend a hand, or an ear, or a few dollars, without being asked. They're the ones who always tell you that you look wonderful. They're the ones who tell you they are so glad to know you. They're the ones who quietly help you see the cup as half full. They're the ones that never, ever vomit their own woes all over you. They are the ones who never eat in front of others without offering to share....sometimes insisting on it....they can stretch a meal to no end to make sure everyone there shares in the repast....
They know when a hug is needed, or just a smile....They're the ones who can give your hand that quick squeeze that says so very much.....
and there is no money in the world that can buy what these folks have....no money can make you the kind of person that makes everyone feel comfortable......
I have a neighbor who is one of these folks...actually I have a neighbor on either side of me that are both the most wonderful, kind, nice people you could ever want to know...both of them quirky....but both of the kind, warm, funny, decent, ethical folks....
And then I have another neighbor...
Lives a few doors up the street....
daughter of a judge, wife of an atty....mother of a monster child...
She has quite a bit of money....I don't know if she is 'rich', but they aren't hurting.....they just put an addition on their house that cost them in excess of 500K.....and she has very good taste...the house has been restored to it's original victorian charm, and the addition is completely consistent with the period, including the materials used...landscaping is impeccable....and I'm sure she is a major shareholder in Abercrombie as well as LL Bean......and I'm not sure if Ann Taylor and Jones NY carry large women's sizes, but if they do, she's got stock in them, as well....
Know the type????.....votes for most liberal causes...sits on the hospital board....does the MDA telethon....drives a Volvo....deadheads her flowers religiously.....and she is niiiiiiiiiiiiiice....sickeningly niiiiiiiiiiiiice....'cept with me...she won't make eye contact with me.....I once told her that her husband didn't know his ass from his elbow about good practices for children....and offered to teach him....ohmygod, I thought she'd have a cannary right there, on the spot....on the other hand, I was being sincere...her husband is often appointed GAL for local kids and I want him to be good at what he does....for the sake of the kids.....
Anyway....back to the bitch....she approached my super wonderful neighbor the other night and said...."I know you and your daughter are less fortunate than David and I. I wanted to let you know I'm having a tag sale on Friday and I thought if you wanted to make a few extra dollars you could set up a table in my yard and avoid having to pay for a permit."........well.........
When Rosie told me this I wanted to spit....puke...rip her head from her shoulders....I really wanted to throttle the bitch.....
And I know she thought she was being sensitive and kind.....she has no idea she is the most condescending, elitist bitch walking.....and she was insulting to one of the nicest people I've ever known.....
I don't know what yet, but I'm going to think of something really, really awful to do to her....something that will both humiliate and humble her......it'll come to me...I know it will....
'Cause I ain't got no class....and I don't give a hoot!!!!!!!
7 years ago
1 comment:
Geez Ducky, I didn't know you had such a nasty streak in you. Your sainthood status just came down a peg.
But I do understand what you are saying, and why it is so frustrating. I think it has something to do with people who have been handed everything in life , overindulged, and don't appreciate what they have. On the other hand there are many more people in this world who have grown up in far less fortunate circumstances, and have had to go out and fight and work for everything they have in life, from money to self-esteem.
When you have done without these things you appreciate them so much more, and tend to be aware, sensitive and compassionate to your fellow human beings.
At the same time I always feel a kind of jealousy toward people who have had every advantage in life - and are completely friggin' oblivious to that fact.
Wouldn't it be nice to have had everything just handed to you in life?
But if you are given everything you don't have the wealth of experience that makes you more "human". I wonder if on some semi-conscious level maybe the "bitch" looks at your friends and neighbors and wants some of what they have, but doesn't know exactly what it is, or how to get it.
But you can kick her ass anyways. I am looking forward to know how that goes.
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